GayTV Recap: Jamie Johnson (Episode 5x8)

The BBC series Jamie Johnson dedicated the eighth episode of the fifth season to the character of Dillon (played by Patrick Ward) as he came to terms with his sexuality after revealing his secret to Elliot (played by Laquarn Lewis) at the end of the previous episode. Episode 8 began with Dillon involved in an imaginary boxing match, where he is punched to the mat. He returned to his corner where his coach reminded him to keep fighting and to get right back up after being knocked down. Dillon listened as he was told to follow his heart and not listen to haters. His coach told him to have the same courage he shows on the soccer field and remember that he's a winner. Dillon was then shown staring at his wet face in his bathroom mirror, contemplating his future.

Meanwhile, Elliot chatted with Ruby, Dillon's friend whom Elliot has been staying with since his mother's hospitalization. She asked if he spoke to Dillon about his behavior. Dillon had recently been lashing out at Elliot, which Elliot & Ruby believed was due to homophobia, until Dillon's revelation to Elliot in the previous episode that he was really hating himself because he might be gay as well. Elliot told Ruby that he might have misjudged Dillon, but kept quiet about how he knew that, causing her to double-down on her annoyance with Dillon's behavior, despite Elliot urging her to leave it alone.

Back at Dillon's house, he had breakfast with his father (played by Julian Lewis Jones) and younger brother Liam. His father showered him with praise after his recent star performance on the soccer field led his team to victory. His father shared his pride in his older son, bringing up the fact that Dillon's been offered a spot at an elite youth training club. Dillon then received a text from Elliot, asking if he wanted to talk. Dillon told his father that he was heading off to practice. After he left the room, his father encouraged Liam to watch and learn from his brother, given Liam's more lackluster soccer performance, leaving the younger boy annoyed.

Dillon prepared to go meet Elliot, spending extra time in the bathroom to make sure he looked and smelled good. Over at Ruby's, Elliot did the same before letting her know that he was going out. She wondered where he was off to dressed so nice, but he refused to tell before leaving. Back at Dillon's house, he crossed paths with his father before he could get out the door and his father called him out for wearing his after-shave, if he was just going to practice. He wondered if Dillon might actually have a date, but Dillon disputed that. His father urged him to focus on his soccer, telling him he would have time for a love life after he got into the new club.

Elliot found Dillon on the soccer field, complimenting him on his performance in the big game. He then brought up the fact that the big win wasn't the only major thing that happened with Dillon yesterday. Dillon knew that Elliot was talking about his sexual confusion. Elliot asked him how long he's been feeling this way and Dillon wasn't sure, but knew it had been a while. He asked Elliot when he knew he was gay. Elliot told Dillon that he's known he was gay since he was born. Dillon was surprised. Elliot told him that, in his heart, it was something that he just always knew.

Dillon & Elliot walked together, as Elliot asked about his romantic history, knowing he's kissed a girl before. Dillon told him about how he was pressured into it and never felt romantically interested in that girl. He told Elliot about all of the times he's flirted with girls, but never gone beyond that. Elliot told him that flirting didn't mean he liked girls. Dillon told him that he was just doing what he knows other players do.

After chatting about girls, Elliot was curious about his feelings towards boys. He asked Dillon if he ever had crushes on any guys. Dillon told him that he didn't think so, though he would have been too afraid to ever admit it to himself if he did. He told Elliot he would have been more likely to beat up any boy who might like him. Elliot joked that he was happy he wasn't one of Dillon's childhood crushes. Dillon told him that he never would have imagined saying anything before meeting Elliot, who is openly gay. Elliot told Dillon how his coming out was never a big deal because his mother's best friend is gay, so she was very supportive. He knew that wasn't the same experience for every gay kid. Dillon shared his fears about his father finding out, despite knowing other gay people, like Ruby's moms. Elliot encouraged him to not hide who he really was just to keep other people happy. He said that coming out wouldn't be as bad as Dillon thinks it will be.

Chastised by their father for his lack of commitment to soccer, Dillon's brother Liam headed over to the soccer field to practice, seeing Dillon & Elliot talking from afar. Not realizing his brother could see them, Dillon told Elliot that he couldn't have imagined telling anyone about this, and he realizes what a big deal this is for him. Elliot offered an apology for misjudging him, but Dillon apologized instead, saying that he never wanted Elliot to feel bad about who he is. Elliot placed his hand on Dillon's, telling him that he understood how he was feeling now. He was running away from himself, not Elliot. Liam was stunned to see the boys holding hands and ran away.

Back on the field, Dillon told Elliot that he was glad he told him, but he still can't fathom telling anyone else. Elliot told him he didn't have to tell anyone until he was ready. He was sure Dillon needed time to come to terms with everything. Dillon wasn't sure he would ever be ready. He told Elliot about his elite soccer deal. Elliot wondered what that had to do with this. Dillon told him that gay soccer players didn't exist. They were interrupted by Elliot getting multiple calls from his mother. He told Dillon he had to go call her back. Dillon thanked him for everything. Elliot reminded him that he wasn't alone in this anymore, before leaving.

Elliot got back to Ruby's revealing to her that his mother's being discharged from the hospital, which means he'll be leaving to go back home. Ruby was surprised, and glad to hear the news about his mom, but revealed she was going to miss having him around all the time. He thanked her for welcoming him and introducing him to her friends. She apologized about Dillon, though, saying she was glad to know his true colors now. Elliot said he didn't think she really did. She wondered what he meant. Elliot agreed to tell her what was going on with Dillon, but only if she promised never to tell anyone.

Dillon arrived back at home to hear his father making dinner plans, as his mother was on her way home. Liam wasn't far behind, sarcastically joking about Dillon's appetite after so much extra training. Their father urged Liam to cut his attitude and learn from his brother to increase his work ethic on the field. Feeling upset at his father's praise of Dillon at his expense, Liam told him that Dillon wasn't training. He was holding hands with his boyfriend. Dillon was stunned and called his brother a liar. Liam dug his heels in, leading his father to ask more questions about what Liam saw. Scared and flustered, Dillon walked away.

His father wouldn't let him get very far. Dillon told him that Liam was lying, but his father demanded that he tell him that he wasn't gay. Dillon was unable to do that, leading his father to tell him that he better not be, because it would change everything. He told him that he could forget about his soccer career because it wasn't going to happen. Dillon tried to stand up for himself, as his father blamed Ruby's family for being a bad influence. Dillon told him that it had nothing to do with them. He's felt this way for a long time. His father told him if he was choosing to live his life like this, he wouldn't do it in his house. Dillon was stunned as his father kicked him out. After Dillon left, young shocked Liam tried to talk to his father, only to be immediately quieted by the angry man.

Dillon found himself back at the soccer field. He dealt with his emotions in private, breaking down as he wondered what he was going to do now. As his tears flowed, he was left feeling alone and lost, realizing how much his life had changed in a matter of minutes. The emotional scene ended with him collapsed on the ground in tears.

Dillon later paid a visit to his teammate Jamie, who remained sidelined by his leg injury. Jamie quickly noticed something was bothering Dillon. He asked if he was okay. Dillon told him that he wasn't. He told Jamie he had a fight with his father, leading to more curiosity from Jamie. Dillon almost told Jamie the story, but stopped himself. Instead, he lied to Jamie, saying that his father was no longer supporting his soccer career. Jamie showed support for him, telling him not to stop believing in himself. He told him he can't go wrong that way.

Dillon went over to Ruby's house, surprised to find Elliot packing up his things. He told Dillon about his mother being released from the hospital, meaning he was moving back home. Ruby left them alone and Dillon told Elliot about his brother seeing them at the field holding hands. Elliot wondered what that meant, since they were just talking. Dillon told him that Liam told his father what he saw. Elliot wondered how Dillon handled it and he told him that he told his father about being gay. Elliot was happy for him, saying that was great. Dillon then told him it wasn't. He told Elliot about his father kicking him out and saying he wasn't his son anymore. His father hates him.

Elliot tried to assure him that it was just the shock and his father probably didn't mean it, but Dillon didn't believe that. A defeated Dillon said that if his father reacted that badly, he can't imagine how other people would be if he came out. He told Elliot that he couldn't do it. He made a big mistake. Elliot tried to encourage him, saying he can get through this, but Dillon said he wasn't brave like Elliot. He just wants to be normal. Elliot told him that he is normal. Dillon wanted Elliot to swear he wouldn't tell anyone else, as Ruby walked in. They shared a glance and Dillon realized he told her. Ruby promised she would never tell his secret, though she told him he had nothing to be ashamed of. Dillon wasn't so sure. Then, Dillon's phone rang. It was his mother. He said he couldn't face her now. Elliot pushed him to answer the phone.

After the call, Dillon joined Elliot & Ruby in the kitchen, where he told them that his mother knows. She wants him to come home. Dillon told them that she was supportive and told him that she loves him, no matter what. Elliot was happy he heard that. He hoped his father would come around once things settled in. Dillon wasn't so sure, but his mother said his father was just set in his ways. He still wasn't ready to face him, so he told them he was staying with Ruby for the night, if she didn't mind. She welcomed him to stay. Elliot expressed sadness that he had to leave now. Dillon told him that he understood he needed to be with his mom.

With his taxi arriving, it was time for Elliot to say his goodbyes. He thanked Ruby for all of her hospitality. He reminded her that he was part of her world now so this wasn't really goodbye. She then left him to say goodbye to Dillon. He thanked Elliot for helping him find the courage to face things, even though he wasn't sure what was going to come next. The two shared a hug. Elliot told him he just needed time to come to terms with everything, and then he would feel even better. Dillon wondered how he got to be so wise. Elliot smirked, telling him he was just generally amazing, drawing a smile from Dillon.

Elliot told him to give him a call whenever he was ready and Dillon nodded. Before leaving, Elliot told him to continue being as strong and as brave as he was in the final soccer game the day before and he'll have nothing to fear. Dillon & Ruby watched Elliot leave. He entered the taxi and offered a wave goodbye. Ruby left Dillon at the door, as he stared off watching the taxi depart.