GayTV Recap: Outlander (Episode 4x6)
The two were interrupted by the arrival of William, alongside Jamie's wife Claire who encountered the boy by the river. Claire was taken aback when she realized that the boy was the child Jamie left behind to be raised by John. Knowing of John's past feelings for Jamie, she was also instantly uncomfortable. Over dinner, conversation turned tense when it came to talk of taxes and the governor's new palace. John defended his political ally, bringing dinner to a halt.
Later, John & Jamie engaged in a game of chess, as they continued to catch-up. When he noticed Jamie watching the sleeping William, John wondered if Jamie was content with his life as it is. Jamie told him that he had everything he could ever want, including good friends like John and the knowledge that his son is safe and well-cared for. He reassured John that he wanted nothing more.
As John & William prepared to depart, John fell ill. Claire quickly realized that he had contracted measles, making his departure impossible. While she agreed to keep John at the cabin and nurse him, they realized that William might contract the illness if he stayed. Jamie took the boy on a trip, leaving his wife behind with his admirer John, causing more tension. Left alone, John wondered if she might be jealous being around the person who spent so much time with Jamie and his son during her absence. Claire revealed the identity of her own daughter with Jamie, surprising him. The annoyed Claire inquired about why John would risk the truth of William's parentage coming out by bringing him to Jamie, wondering if it might have truly been John who wanted to see her husband.
With his temperature rising, John confessed to Claire that he felt no emotion when his wife Isobel died, despite their life-long friendship. He revealed to her that he came there to see Jamie to see if he could still feel anything. He shared his shame and how hard it was to see Jamie with Claire. She wondered why he would torture himself, knowing he could never have Jamie. That led John to tell her that Jamie offered himself to John in exchange for being a father to William. Claire was stunned. John told her that he refused, not wanting to be with Jamie just because Jamie felt obligation to repay him.
John's fever subsided and he expressed sincere regret for his words. He confided in her that it hurt him most to see how happy Claire was because of her love. He revealed that it was a look he never saw on his wife's face. It pained him to know it was a love he never brought to anyone. Claire apologized as well, revealing that she was envious of the time John shared with Jamie, time that she would never get back. She wondered if he still had feelings for Jamie now and he told her he did. Claire reminded him that he would always have a part of Jamie in his son. Jamie returned with William, leading to a happy reunion. Even though Jamie had been forced to reveal the truth to William, he told John that he was a great father and that they were fortunate to have each other.
John & William prepared to depart. He thanked Claire for her help and hospitality. Claire urged him not to give up hope that he too would one day find love that would fill his heart with satisfaction. John gave Jamie a parting gift in the form of his chess set, which Jamie reluctantly accepted. The four shared their goodbyes, with John & William riding off together as father and son.
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